Posted in Awards, Funny

I’m Very Versatile

I am very happy to announce that I have been nominated for The Versatile Blogger Award! Huzzah! My first award! I’d like to thank the Academy… I mean, I’d like to thank HaLin from Haphazard Linkages for nominating me. Your sense of humour is only surpassed by your ability to inundate (in the best possible way) your posts with sesquipedalian terms (I will never tire of that word) ;)

Now, the rules for this award are as follows:

1. Thank the person who gave you this award and include a link to their blog. (Check! But I’ll say it again: thank you!)

2. Share 7 things about yourself

3. Choose 15 blogs/bloggers that you enjoy and nominate them for the Versatile Blogger Award

Alright, let’s see, 7 things about myself:

1. I am left-handed. Here’s an interesting fact about lefties:

“If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, and the right side of your brain controls the left side of your body, then left-handed people must be the only ones in their right minds.”

~ W.C. Fields

2. My birthday is April 4th (almost there!), which makes my zodiac sign Aries, the Ram. This suits me perfectly as I can be extremely stubborn, headstrong and prone to headbutting ;)

3. In the last 5 years, I have lived in 6 different cities: Ste. Anne, MB (Canada); Winnipeg, MB (Canada); Skibbereen, Co. Cork (Ireland), Killarney, Co. Kerry (Ireland); Prince George, BC (Canada) and now finally Kelowna, BC (Canada).

4. I am a proud geek who enjoys the geeky things in life such as: Sci-Fi (including Star Wars and Star Trek), Fantasy,  Anime, video games, memes, technology, Monty Python… There’s probably more, but let’s move on to the next one.

5. I am not a picky person. I generally can find something to enjoy in just about anything. One can usually find something good to say about any song, food, movie, TV show, book, art piece, etc. as long as you’re willing to look for it. Most people tend to look for the bad in things (e.g. “This movie is full of plot holes!”, “The lyrics to this song are grammatically incorrect!”, “My sandwich is asymmetrical!”), when it’s really very easy to see the good (e.g. “What colourful explosions this movie has!”, “These simple lyrics are fun and easy to sing along with!”, “My sandwich has bacon in it!”).

6. What else… This is harder than I thought. I… am tall? That’s something right? At 5’10 (177.8 cm), I’m considered taller than average for a woman. I’ve never minded being tall or anything, but I sometimes wish I were a little shorter just so that I could wear heels and not tower over everyone in the room.

7. And… let’s just pretend I added another one here. You can make something up if you want;  maybe it will even end up being true :)

Now I’m supposed to nominate 15 other blogs/bloggers, but I’m not going to do that many, because I’m a rebel.

But seriously, I haven’t been doing this long enough to really have gotten to know 15 other blogs, so I’m just going to nominate a few with whom I’ve managed to become at least somewhat familiar. So without further ado, here are my nominations for The Versatile Blogger Award (in no particular order):



Pouring My Art Out

– titillatingthoughts

– Off on a Tangent

They are all enjoyable and amusing in their own way and I highly recommend perusing their blogs  when you have the chance.

So in conclusion, thank you all, dear readers, for your support, comments and likes for my blog. I shall endeavour to continue rambling about random things as best I can.


Chris, Random Deviations

Posted in Random, Writing

Buried Alive

I’ve decided to join the Trifecta Weekend Writing Challenge that I heard about from Off on a Tangent.

The rules are:

“Write a horror story in 33 words, without the words blood, scream, died, death, knife, gun, or kill. Good luck.”

Her vision blurs. Her life drains out of the wound in her chest.

He is done digging. Soon there will be only darkness.

She prays it will come before she is buried alive.

Darkness falls
Darkness falls (Photo credit: Bogdan Suditu)

Posted in Funny, Random, Signs, Weird

Beware Dying Anthropomorphic Birds!


I was walking my dog today and I came upon this sign. I pass it every day when walking by but I’d never stopped and taken a close look before. I was confused, amused and intrigued all at once. It was pretty special. I decided to snap a photo of it to share with you guys; maybe someone out there can enlighten me… What is this supposed to be telling me exactly?

Let analyze this step by step. The top part is pretty clear;  “DANGER” is pretty straightforward and so is the little lightning bolt implying electrocution (unless it’s supposed to be a mountain cracking open or something… but let’s stick with the previous assumption).

So, now we have a man opening a box with a key that’s crossed out and some kind of hemorrhaging fowl (?) flying towards him screaming “Nooooo!!” Actually it’s just “No!”, not a drawn out wail or anything, but I find my way adds drama to the scene, like it’s some kind of slow motion action sequence or something.

I really don’t know what they’re trying to say here… If I open the box I’ll be electrocuted AND assaulted by a dying anthropomorphic bird? Or if I try to open it the dying anthropomorphic bird will come and stop me?

It also says at the bottom “You can be badly hurt”. Now one would normally assume that the electrical components inside the box are what would hurt you, should you choose to mess with them. But now I’m not so sure… Maybe it’s THE BIRD or whatever (seriously, what the heck is that thing and why is it bleeding?) that will hurt you!  Maybe he’s trying to protect something valuable inside the box and the electrocution (or cracking mountain) symbol is just misdirection!

See, they really didn’t think this sign through. They need to be clear in their meaning, otherwise people everywhere will be opening these boxes to find out what’s inside. That or they’ll try to open them just so they can meet the anthropomorphic bird before it dies.

So in the end, if you ever need to create a warning sign, dear readers, stick to the obvious death threats, like skulls, explosions, people in wheelchairs rolling into the mouths of crocodiles… I’m not even kidding about the last one. Here’s a picture, and if you look closely (click to enlarge it), you’ll see that the “Resurrection Parking” (?!) and “Family Beer and Liquor” is nearby, so even if someone should roll to their doom there, they’ll just be brought back to life and then the whole family can go and get drunk. Hooray for signs!

Svenska: Internationell road signs in Kungsträ...
Svenska: Internationell road signs in Kungsträdgården in Stockholm (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Posted in Funny, Music, Random, Weird

Polka Can Make Anything Better

Say what you will about Weird Al Yankovic, but he sure knows how to polka. Over the years, he’s compiled and adapted several medleys of songs to the dulcet tones of an accordion. Here’s the most recent one featuring such “talented” artists as: Britney Spears, Justin Bieber and Ke$ha:

If you enjoyed that, you might like this one as well from a few years ago:

If you still aren’t all polka’d out, you might like to view some of the earlier polka medleys such as The Angry White Boy Polka, Polka Power… Hey! there’s even a Bohemian Rhapsody polka! I mean come on, what more could you ask for?

Now if you REALLY want to get your freaky polka on, here’s one with some classics from the 60s and 70s set to some My Little Pony video…. don’t ask me why.

Posted in Funny, Musings, Random, Weird

We’re All a Little Weird…

I truly hope that everyone can find someone with whom they can fall into mutually satisfying weirdness, myself included :)

Posted in Funny, Musings, Random, Weird

Crazy Fatigue Energy

Have you ever been so tired, that you are NOT able to sleep, no matter how hard you try? You know, where you lie in bed for hours, completely exhausted, and your mind keeps chattering away about miscellaneous, annoying things and sleep just stays an elusive bastard, taunting you just beyond your reach? I’ve got that going on right now. So, in an effort to use up any residual mental energy I have left in an attempt to force my mind into submission so I can sleep, I’m going to blog about it. I apologize in advance if my attempt to write a comprehensible post degenerates into rambling about nonsense, but as it is currently 3:07 AM here, I really find it hard to give a damn whether any of this makes sense. Okay?

So, I haven’t been sleeping well at all lately and it’s slowly been catching up with me, bit by bit, to the point where it’s starting to mess with my mind. When you’re this tired, one moment you feel like you’re about to lapse into a coma at any second and the next, you’re feeling wide awake and full of what I like to call Crazy Fatigue Energy, or CFE for short, that acts like a second wind when you’ve passed the threshold of being merely tired, into being majorly sleep deprived.

I have experienced CFE many times before in the past while I was in college, pulling all-nighters finishing projects that should have been done days before (on more than one occasion, I literally started a project the day before it was due). I remember the fatigue suddenly melting away and my mind going into overdrive… At least that’s what it felt like anyway; for all I know I could have been staring blankly at my computer screen for minutes on end without doing anything and not even realizing it. You see, CFE often has the side effect of playing with your sense of time as well as causing the no-blinking effect. It’s easy to recognize someone experiencing CFE by the disturbing juxtaposition of the dark circles of fatigue under their eyes with the intense, uninterrupted gaze that has just the tiniest glint of crazy to

The disturbing gaze of one affected by Crazy Fatigue Energy

it. It can be very unsettling to the observer, but somewhat exhilarating for the one experiencing it. You kind of get that “anything can happen” feeling.

I remember one time, I had been working all night on a college project that was, of course, due the next day.

I suddenly realized I needed to go to the college to get something to finish the project; luckily I lived nearby. I can’t remember what this thing I needed was, exactly, only that it was imperative that I get it. So, at around 5 or 6 AM, I decided to brave the -40 degree weather (I’m not even joking about that; I lived in Winnipeg, MB (Canada) at the time and it really was that cold) and walked over to the college to get it. It felt like this wild, exciting adventure, when for most people, it should have felt like some freezing, stressful nightmare – because that’s what CFE does to you.

Of course, as great as the feeling is, it doesn’t last forever. When the fatigue comes back, it hits you like… I don’t know, something that hits hard, let’s say a rock or… Chris Brown (that joke is pretty tired now, but so am I so screw it).

Anyway, I think that should be enough now. I’m feeling sleepy and should hopefully be able to catch some shut-eye. And as a gift to you all for putting up with my ramblings, I’m going to post this right now, against my better judgement, instead of waiting till tomorrow to read it over to check if it’s embarrassingly bad or not!


Posted in Funny, Random, Weird

How Broccoli Is Evidence That Pigs Can Fly

Did you know that broccoli can help support the hypothesis that all pigs fly? Or even that all horses do the hokey pokey? Well it’s true! With the magic of Hempel’s Paradox (also known as the Raven Paradox) pretty much any theory can be supported. And “supported” is the key term here, because obviously, you can’t prove anything with broccoli (as far as I know), but that’s beside the point…

Pigs might fly...

So how does this work? Well, there are a lot of complicated formulas and technical terms involved, but basically it all boils down to this:

You first need a hypothesis to work with. Hempel went with:

1 – All ravens are black.

Logically, this statement would then be equivalent to:

2 – Everything that is not black is not a raven.

Makes sense, right? Okay from here, we can surmise that every time we see a black raven, we are gaining evidence to support statement #1. Of course, that also means that every time we see something that is not black and is not a raven, we are gaining evidence to support statement #2. For example, that object is red (i.e. not black) and is an apple (i.e. not a raven), therefore it is evidence supporting “Everything that is not black is not a raven”. Since statement #1 and #2 are equivalent, seeing a red apple supports the hypothesis “All ravens are black”. You with me so far?

Okay, so herein lies the paradox, my friends. What we’re saying is that we can gain information about ravens, by looking at apples… You can see the problem with that, right? That’s what makes this paradox so fun!

Now comes the really, really fun part! Let’s use a new hypothesis:

1 – All pigs fly.

Therefore, following the same formula as before:

2 – Everything that does not fly is not a pig. Right?

Even if you never see a flying pig to support statement #1 (you never know, though…), for every object you see that is not flying and is not a pig, such as broccoli, you are gaining evidence supporting the statement “Everything that does not fly is not a pig”.

Of course, there is the problem that every time you do see a pig and it’s not flying (which is usually the case, I would think), you gain some evidence against “All pigs fly”. However the beauty of this paradox lies in the fact that there are FAR more objects (broccoli, rocks, trees, Justin Bieber, etc.) that aren’t pigs that aren’t flying to support statement #2. So, if you were to weigh all the evidence for and against your hypothesis on a scale,
that scale would be heavily tipped in favor of statement #2, which, as we’ve noted is equivalent to statement #1, which then means, dear readers, that you technically have evidence to support the theory that pigs fly!

Of course, as I mentioned earlier, broccoli will never actually prove that pigs fly, but I find it hilarious that it can be used as logical evidence towards it, even though it goes against all common sense.

What’s even funnier is that this can be used for other great hypotheses, such as all dogs are made of candy, all tables are time machines or even… all pencils are the ghost of Elvis.

So, now that I’ve shared this great concept with you, and if you’ve managed to understand my terrible attempt at explaining it, you may go out into the world knowing that the gum that you’ve stepped in actually supports your theory that all cats are ninjas…

Posted in Funny, Musings, Random, Weird

We All Scream For Ice Cream

Ice Creeaaam!!!

Most people have seen this painting before by Edvard Munch, called simply, The Scream; but have they ever stopped to think about WHY the man in the painting is screaming?

Of course they have, Chris. Lots of people have wondered that, and if you would have stopped to do some research, you would know that Edvard Munch actually explained his inspiration as – SHUT UP internal logic! You’re boring. It’s much more fun to try to interpret it ourselves.

So, why is this poor man screaming? Is he screaming for his friends, who seem to be running away and hiding from him in the background? Maybe they couldn’t stand to look at him anymore, since he looks like a wax sculpture of Macaulay Culkin from Home Alone melting in the sun… Or maybe he’s screaming because he’s realized he’s lost his Preciousss (Get it? Because he also looks like Gollum)? Or maybe, just maybe, he’s screaming for ice cream. Because as we all know, I scream, you scream, we ALL scream for ice cream… Apparently.

What do you fine readers think? Any thoughts or insights into the true nature of The Scream? Comment and let me know; but no research, you hear me? That’s cheating.

Posted in Funny, Musings, Random

Nothing Happening…

In the words of Douglas Adams: “For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.”

That’s been my life in a nutshell recently. I’ve been reading all these amazing blogs full of interesting stories, deep insights, funny pictures and so on and wishing I could find something memorable to blog about. So I waited and waited and then… nothing happened.

Nothing happened
Nothing happened (Photo credit: warrenski)

Next I said to myself: “Come on, Chris! Life doesn’t just happen, you have to go out and find it! Carpe diem and all that.” So, I decided to leave my apartment and go out into the world for life to happen to me. I walked around the block, went to Tim Hortons, stopped and chatted with a woman walking her dog, things like that. While technically, that’s what life is, little events that weave together into the tapestry of our existence…it’s kind of boring to talk about. Some people can spin a great tale out of experiences like these; I’ve read their blogs and I greatly envy them. But for me, it’s hard to make ordering a coffee sound exhilarating. Unless…

As I was walking out the door with my steaming hot coffee, I stumbled! Dun! Dun! Dun! The coffee spilled and scalded my hand!! Oh, the humanity!!!

Well, that didn’t actually happen, but I suppose a liberal dose of fiction could spice up some everyday events ;)

In any case, one of the reasons I started this blog was that it forces me to try to observe and appreciate the little things in life, to find the stories that are all around me. Even if I can’t spin elaborate stories about a woman walking her poodle at the moment, I think that with enough time and practice, I’ll get there. I’m still new at this, after all. And hey, if I don’t improve, or if nothing continues to happen to me, there’s always fiction…

Posted in Funny, Random, Weird, Writing

And the word of the day is… Sesquipedalian!

Couldn't have said it better myself.

I came across the word “sesquipedalian” today, and what a lovely word it is! It rolls off the tongue nicely and what’s more, it defines itself. What more could you want in a word?

Merriam-Webster defines the word as “having many syllables” (i.e. long), or “given to or characterized by the use of long words”. So it’s a long word for long words; I love that!

However, one must eschew obfuscation and espouse elucidation when electing to utilize sesquipedalian terms, otherwise egregious miscommunications may ensue. ;)