Posted in Funny, Holidays, Random, Weird, Writing

The Voice of Reason

Woe is me, dear readers! Break out the world’s smallest violin and rosin up its bow. Secure any and all dams for I am about to cry you a river.

Alas, I still cannot for the life of me think of something to blog about. I tried writing a haiku yesterday to get the creative juices flowing, but I think my brain is either all dried up or I just have a nasty clog.

I know, I know, today is Easter. I should just write about that, right? Wrong! Wrong, dear readers! There are already hundreds, nay thousands, of blogs and articles specifically dedicated to that very thing out there on the Internet for one to peruse! I refuse to submit to peer pressure and write about it just because everyone else is! It doesn’t matter if it makes for a perfect theme for a post! I’m NOT going to do it! You can’t make me!!! I’m not listening!!!

*Ahem*

Now that I’ve calmed down after a time-out in the corner for my little tantrum, I have decided that the best course of action is to listen to the Voice of Reason. Reason is smart and will help me find something to write about.

So, Reason, what do you have to say?

Well, first of all Chris, do you realize that you are now currently writing a post about not being able to think of something to post about, which is easily just as common, if not more so, than posts about Easter? After all, there are many, many posts with people bemoaning their inability to write and those are written all year long.

Well, I –

Secondly, this isn’t even your first time writing about this!! You already mentioned yesterday’s haiku, but what about the time you wrote about nothing happening while you were searching in vain for something to write about? Do you even think before you start typing? Do you?

I do, but –

I don’t think you realize how whiny you sound! “Wah wah wah, I can’t think of anything! Why oh why won’t interesting things happen to me? Why can’t I spin out thrilling and humorous tales on a daily basis?”  That’s you! That’s what you sound like! Why must everything be so dramatic with you, huh? Why can’t you just write like a normal person!?! Whyyy?!?! I can’t take it anymore! Just sit down, shut up, and stop wallowing in self-pity already!!!! ARRGGHH!

Well dear readers, the Voice of Reason is not being reasonable anymore, therefore it is taking a turn in the corner for a time-out. I apologize for its outburst. I guess I should avoid this whole topic of conversation in the future, lest the Voice of Reason decide to come and silence me… permanently. (cue dramatic music)

However, seeing as how the Voice of Reason is a part of me, silencing me would in essence silence IT as well. Ha! Joke’s on it then!

So after all of this, I never did come up with a proper topic to post about. However I did get to ramble insanely for a while, and isn’t that what blogging is truly all about, dear readers?

Posted in Holidays, Music, Musings

Happy Birthday To Me!

Birthday Cake
Mmmmm... Cake (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

That’s right, dear readers, today is my birthday. I am now 25 years old. That’s one-quarter of a century, halfway to 50. I’m not sure if it should or not, but it doesn’t feel any different from any other birthday.

I find it funny how when you’re a kid, each birthday is extremely significant and a source of pride, as if suddenly going from 7 to 8 years old is a great accomplishment. Kids are very aware of their age and the ages of the other kids around them, because when you’re that age, that’s usually how the social hierarchy is decided. The older kids are the ones in charge and they get to do things that the younger ones can’t.

When you’re an adult, all of that changes. Your age begins to have less and less to do with your social or professional status. A 50-year-old person can just as easily be the subordinate to one of 30 years of age as not.

Also, the addition of one year or two of age begins to have less and less impact on our appearance. It’s easy to tell the difference between a 5-year-old and a 7-year-old, but can you tell the difference between someone who is 45 and 47? Maybe you can, but I sure can’t.

So, just to reiterate, 25 doesn’t feel any different from 24…. However, cake and presents are always good so I’m going to enjoy this day all the same!

I’m going to leave you now with the number one songs of 25 years ago on the date of April 4th, 1987. Why, you ask? Because it’s fun, that’s why ;)

In the US, it was Starship’s “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now”, which you may remember from the classic 80’s movie, Mannequin.

And in the UK, the number one song at the time was a cover of “Let It Be”, performed by Ferry Aid, a British-American ensemble group brought together in the aftermath of the Zeebrugge Disaster.

You just gotta love that 80’s hair!

Posted in Funny, Holidays, Random, Weird

A Banana By Any Other Name Would Be Just As Funny

(Image Source: KnowYourMeme.com)

I discovered something very tragic today indeed, dear readers. Yesterday was National PB & J Day in the United States and I missed it! In the words of Charlie Brown:

(Photo Source: Photobucket.com)

I know what you’re all thinking…. But Chris! You’re not even American! True enough, dear readers, true enough. But even so, were I aware of the existence of this amazing holiday yesterday, I would have had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich anyhow in honour of it. They’re so delicious after all…

What? That isn’t what you were all thinking? Oh I see, what you were really thinking was Why the hell are you talking about peanut butter sandwiches when your title clearly states this post should be about bananas?! There’s even a dancing banana at the top!!

Patience, dear readers, patience; I’m getting to that. Now where was I again? Oh yes, Peanut Butter and Jelly Day. It turns out that every day is some kind of holiday in the US (how cool is that?). Here is a full list of said holidays. April 2nd is as I’ve said, PB & J day.

Today, April 3rd, is Tweed Day and Don’t Go to Work Unless It’s Fun Day (awesome and awesome). Those go together perfectly! Tweed is always fun, which means if you celebrate Tweed Day, you’re definitely going to have fun at work. But I suppose if you’d rather stay home, you’d have to forgo the tweed, which would be a shame. Can’t have everything I guess…

Now tomorrow, April 4th, is Tell-A-Lie Day. Here’s a good one to use: “This sentence is a lie.”  But Chris, if that sentence is a lie, then it’s telling the truth, hence it can’t be a lie, but it can’t be the truth because it says it’s a lie…. Don’t hurt yourselves thinking about it, dear readers, just inflict it on your friends, co-workers, maybe even your boss… Perhaps the latter will become trapped in an infinite loop, thus preparing you for April 5th, Go For Broke Day, where you may now be able to persuade your boss’s weakened mind into giving you that raise or extra vacation time you’ve been too afraid to ask for.

The list goes on. April 13th, Blame Somebody Else Day, sounds like a particularly fun one… or horrible one, depending which side of the blaming you’re on.

Now, here’s what you’ve all been waiting for dear readers…. What is the relevance of bananas in my post?  The suspense must be killing you.

Here it is, as a tribute to National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day:

*crickets chirp* 

*tumbleweeds blow past* 

Come now, dear readers, it may be a little passé but I believe it still has comedic merit.

*silence*

*more silence*

Are you still there?

*Silence*


*Note: For those who are unfamiliar with this dancing banana, it was a very popular meme a few years ago that went viral. If you want to know  more, then I’ll direct your attention to this:

Posted in Funny, Holidays, Weird

Fool Me Once, Shame On You

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year. ~ Mark Twain

Since where I am, there are still 5 minutes left of April Fools’ Day, I thought I would blog a little about it.

How right Mr. Twain was! We should celebrate our foolishness more often, albeit with more of this:

I would go to that! An annual ceremony for washing lions at the Tower of London? It sounds both classy and entertaining. People sure had a great sense of humour way back in 1857...
...and they still do today. Is it just me, or is that kid kind of creepy? I'm getting "Omen" vibes from him, like he's the one who did that...

And less of this (what the guy’s portraying, not the videos themselves. Jokes about jokes are funny):

Happy April Fools’ everyone! Hopefully none of you were pranked too badly today… Or if you were the ones doing the pranking, then I hope they were successful! ;)