Posted in Funny, Music, Random, Weird

Polka Can Make Anything Better

Say what you will about Weird Al Yankovic, but he sure knows how to polka. Over the years, he’s compiled and adapted several medleys of songs to the dulcet tones of an accordion. Here’s the most recent one featuring such “talented” artists as: Britney Spears, Justin Bieber and Ke$ha:

If you enjoyed that, you might like this one as well from a few years ago:

If you still aren’t all polka’d out, you might like to view some of the earlier polka medleys such as The Angry White Boy Polka, Polka Power… Hey! there’s even a Bohemian Rhapsody polka! I mean come on, what more could you ask for?

Now if you REALLY want to get your freaky polka on, here’s one with some classics from the 60s and 70s set to some My Little Pony video…. don’t ask me why.

Posted in Funny, Musings, Random, Weird

We’re All a Little Weird…

I truly hope that everyone can find someone with whom they can fall into mutually satisfying weirdness, myself included :)

Posted in Funny, Musings, Random, Weird

Crazy Fatigue Energy

Have you ever been so tired, that you are NOT able to sleep, no matter how hard you try? You know, where you lie in bed for hours, completely exhausted, and your mind keeps chattering away about miscellaneous, annoying things and sleep just stays an elusive bastard, taunting you just beyond your reach? I’ve got that going on right now. So, in an effort to use up any residual mental energy I have left in an attempt to force my mind into submission so I can sleep, I’m going to blog about it. I apologize in advance if my attempt to write a comprehensible post degenerates into rambling about nonsense, but as it is currently 3:07 AM here, I really find it hard to give a damn whether any of this makes sense. Okay?

So, I haven’t been sleeping well at all lately and it’s slowly been catching up with me, bit by bit, to the point where it’s starting to mess with my mind. When you’re this tired, one moment you feel like you’re about to lapse into a coma at any second and the next, you’re feeling wide awake and full of what I like to call Crazy Fatigue Energy, or CFE for short, that acts like a second wind when you’ve passed the threshold of being merely tired, into being majorly sleep deprived.

I have experienced CFE many times before in the past while I was in college, pulling all-nighters finishing projects that should have been done days before (on more than one occasion, I literally started a project the day before it was due). I remember the fatigue suddenly melting away and my mind going into overdrive… At least that’s what it felt like anyway; for all I know I could have been staring blankly at my computer screen for minutes on end without doing anything and not even realizing it. You see, CFE often has the side effect of playing with your sense of time as well as causing the no-blinking effect. It’s easy to recognize someone experiencing CFE by the disturbing juxtaposition of the dark circles of fatigue under their eyes with the intense, uninterrupted gaze that has just the tiniest glint of crazy to

The disturbing gaze of one affected by Crazy Fatigue Energy

it. It can be very unsettling to the observer, but somewhat exhilarating for the one experiencing it. You kind of get that “anything can happen” feeling.

I remember one time, I had been working all night on a college project that was, of course, due the next day.

I suddenly realized I needed to go to the college to get something to finish the project; luckily I lived nearby. I can’t remember what this thing I needed was, exactly, only that it was imperative that I get it. So, at around 5 or 6 AM, I decided to brave the -40 degree weather (I’m not even joking about that; I lived in Winnipeg, MB (Canada) at the time and it really was that cold) and walked over to the college to get it. It felt like this wild, exciting adventure, when for most people, it should have felt like some freezing, stressful nightmare – because that’s what CFE does to you.

Of course, as great as the feeling is, it doesn’t last forever. When the fatigue comes back, it hits you like… I don’t know, something that hits hard, let’s say a rock or… Chris Brown (that joke is pretty tired now, but so am I so screw it).

Anyway, I think that should be enough now. I’m feeling sleepy and should hopefully be able to catch some shut-eye. And as a gift to you all for putting up with my ramblings, I’m going to post this right now, against my better judgement, instead of waiting till tomorrow to read it over to check if it’s embarrassingly bad or not!

Goodnight!

Posted in Funny, Random, Weird

How Broccoli Is Evidence That Pigs Can Fly

Did you know that broccoli can help support the hypothesis that all pigs fly? Or even that all horses do the hokey pokey? Well it’s true! With the magic of Hempel’s Paradox (also known as the Raven Paradox) pretty much any theory can be supported. And “supported” is the key term here, because obviously, you can’t prove anything with broccoli (as far as I know), but that’s beside the point…

Pigs might fly...

So how does this work? Well, there are a lot of complicated formulas and technical terms involved, but basically it all boils down to this:

You first need a hypothesis to work with. Hempel went with:

1 – All ravens are black.

Logically, this statement would then be equivalent to:

2 – Everything that is not black is not a raven.

Makes sense, right? Okay from here, we can surmise that every time we see a black raven, we are gaining evidence to support statement #1. Of course, that also means that every time we see something that is not black and is not a raven, we are gaining evidence to support statement #2. For example, that object is red (i.e. not black) and is an apple (i.e. not a raven), therefore it is evidence supporting “Everything that is not black is not a raven”. Since statement #1 and #2 are equivalent, seeing a red apple supports the hypothesis “All ravens are black”. You with me so far?

Okay, so herein lies the paradox, my friends. What we’re saying is that we can gain information about ravens, by looking at apples… You can see the problem with that, right? That’s what makes this paradox so fun!

Now comes the really, really fun part! Let’s use a new hypothesis:

1 – All pigs fly.

Therefore, following the same formula as before:

2 – Everything that does not fly is not a pig. Right?

Even if you never see a flying pig to support statement #1 (you never know, though…), for every object you see that is not flying and is not a pig, such as broccoli, you are gaining evidence supporting the statement “Everything that does not fly is not a pig”.

Of course, there is the problem that every time you do see a pig and it’s not flying (which is usually the case, I would think), you gain some evidence against “All pigs fly”. However the beauty of this paradox lies in the fact that there are FAR more objects (broccoli, rocks, trees, Justin Bieber, etc.) that aren’t pigs that aren’t flying to support statement #2. So, if you were to weigh all the evidence for and against your hypothesis on a scale,
that scale would be heavily tipped in favor of statement #2, which, as we’ve noted is equivalent to statement #1, which then means, dear readers, that you technically have evidence to support the theory that pigs fly!

Of course, as I mentioned earlier, broccoli will never actually prove that pigs fly, but I find it hilarious that it can be used as logical evidence towards it, even though it goes against all common sense.

What’s even funnier is that this can be used for other great hypotheses, such as all dogs are made of candy, all tables are time machines or even… all pencils are the ghost of Elvis.

So, now that I’ve shared this great concept with you, and if you’ve managed to understand my terrible attempt at explaining it, you may go out into the world knowing that the gum that you’ve stepped in actually supports your theory that all cats are ninjas…

Posted in Funny, Musings, Random, Weird

We All Scream For Ice Cream

Ice Creeaaam!!!

Most people have seen this painting before by Edvard Munch, called simply, The Scream; but have they ever stopped to think about WHY the man in the painting is screaming?

Of course they have, Chris. Lots of people have wondered that, and if you would have stopped to do some research, you would know that Edvard Munch actually explained his inspiration as – SHUT UP internal logic! You’re boring. It’s much more fun to try to interpret it ourselves.

So, why is this poor man screaming? Is he screaming for his friends, who seem to be running away and hiding from him in the background? Maybe they couldn’t stand to look at him anymore, since he looks like a wax sculpture of Macaulay Culkin from Home Alone melting in the sun… Or maybe he’s screaming because he’s realized he’s lost his Preciousss (Get it? Because he also looks like Gollum)? Or maybe, just maybe, he’s screaming for ice cream. Because as we all know, I scream, you scream, we ALL scream for ice cream… Apparently.

What do you fine readers think? Any thoughts or insights into the true nature of The Scream? Comment and let me know; but no research, you hear me? That’s cheating.

Posted in Funny, Random, Weird, Writing

And the word of the day is… Sesquipedalian!

Clarification
Couldn't have said it better myself.

I came across the word “sesquipedalian” today, and what a lovely word it is! It rolls off the tongue nicely and what’s more, it defines itself. What more could you want in a word?

Merriam-Webster defines the word as “having many syllables” (i.e. long), or “given to or characterized by the use of long words”. So it’s a long word for long words; I love that!

However, one must eschew obfuscation and espouse elucidation when electing to utilize sesquipedalian terms, otherwise egregious miscommunications may ensue. ;)