The Voice of Reason

Woe is me, dear readers! Break out the world’s smallest violin and rosin up its bow. Secure any and all dams for I am about to cry you a river.

Alas, I still cannot for the life of me think of something to blog about. I tried writing a haiku yesterday to get the creative juices flowing, but I think my brain is either all dried up or I just have a nasty clog.

I know, I know, today is Easter. I should just write about that, right? Wrong! Wrong, dear readers! There are already hundreds, nay thousands, of blogs and articles specifically dedicated to that very thing out there on the Internet for one to peruse! I refuse to submit to peer pressure and write about it just because everyone else is! It doesn’t matter if it makes for a perfect theme for a post! I’m NOT going to do it! You can’t make me!!! I’m not listening!!!

*Ahem*

Now that I’ve calmed down after a time-out in the corner for my little tantrum, I have decided that the best course of action is to listen to the Voice of Reason. Reason is smart and will help me find something to write about.

So, Reason, what do you have to say?

Well, first of all Chris, do you realize that you are now currently writing a post about not being able to think of something to post about, which is easily just as common, if not more so, than posts about Easter? After all, there are many, many posts with people bemoaning their inability to write and those are written all year long.

Well, I –

Secondly, this isn’t even your first time writing about this!! You already mentioned yesterday’s haiku, but what about the time you wrote about nothing happening while you were searching in vain for something to write about? Do you even think before you start typing? Do you?

I do, but –

I don’t think you realize how whiny you sound! “Wah wah wah, I can’t think of anything! Why oh why won’t interesting things happen to me? Why can’t I spin out thrilling and humorous tales on a daily basis?”  That’s you! That’s what you sound like! Why must everything be so dramatic with you, huh? Why can’t you just write like a normal person!?! Whyyy?!?! I can’t take it anymore! Just sit down, shut up, and stop wallowing in self-pity already!!!! ARRGGHH!

Well dear readers, the Voice of Reason is not being reasonable anymore, therefore it is taking a turn in the corner for a time-out. I apologize for its outburst. I guess I should avoid this whole topic of conversation in the future, lest the Voice of Reason decide to come and silence me… permanently. (cue dramatic music)

However, seeing as how the Voice of Reason is a part of me, silencing me would in essence silence IT as well. Ha! Joke’s on it then!

So after all of this, I never did come up with a proper topic to post about. However I did get to ramble insanely for a while, and isn’t that what blogging is truly all about, dear readers?


Writer’s Block

♦ ♦ ♦

Sometimes blogs are hard.

Haikus can be fun stand-ins.

I lied. They cannot.

♦ ♦ ♦

sakura

Sakura (Photo credit: sa-pi)


Mr. Ridiculously Photogenic Guy

Hello once again, dear readers. Today I would like to introduce you to someone. This is, as dubbed by the Internet, Mr. Ridiculously Photogenic Guy:

(Photo Source: KnowYourMeme.com)

Isn’t he pretty? This photo was taken only a week ago, on March 31st, and it’s already gone viral online. Actually this was the original photo:

He does stand out in a crowd...

Just look at him, dear readers! While everyone around him is sweaty and all red in the face from exertion (you know, like normal people?) he somehow manages to look like he’s in the middle of modelling for a Nike ad or something. While it is possible, even probable, that he is also sweating and red in the face, his beaming smile and shining eyes make any imperfection invisible to the camera.

Some people have got it really good; it’s just impossible to take a bad photo of them. They can be hung over, covered in their own vomit (or even other people’s vomit) and dressed in a paper bag yet somehow, they still manage to look magnificent in photos. Don’t you just hate those people sometimes?

I know in my case, I’m the complete opposite of photogenic. I’m always the one in pictures with my eyes half closed or with some weird expression on my face that only seems to appear right as the picture is being taken. And I know I’m not the only one out there who suffers from this sad affliction. We just can’t all be as ridiculously photogenic as Zeddie Little (that’s the guy’s name; even his name is somehow photogenic, whether that makes sense or not). C’est la vie, I guess…

And apparently, everyone online  has fallen in love with this guy (including me – just look at that radiant smile!), which of course means that they chose to express their love through the magic of Photoshop. Here are a few examples that I found:

 

He was even in the newspaper:

So Mr. Ridiculously Photogenic Guy, I salute you for becoming famous by smiling at the camera. (Who would have guessed that was possible?) However, one of the pitfalls of fame is getting an inflated ego, which is so very unattractive. So, as a favour to you, I’m going to give you something to keep your head from swelling and becoming ugly:

Remember this and you can be beautiful forever...

Now don’t worry Mr. Ridiculously Photogenic guy. We don’t actually hate you, right dear readers? It just the little green devil called Envy For Not Being As Photogenic As You (the name just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?) that makes us think we do sometimes.


Come for the laughs, realize there are none, and stay for the music

Hello, dear readers! Since I’ve started this blog, I’ve done my utmost to post at least one thing a day. Today I will continue that trend, however as I am tired and lacking anything clever to say, I’m going to keep the writing to a minimum.  Instead, let me share with you some music that I am fond of.

These videos are by a band called Walk Off the Earth. They’re the ones who made the famous 5-people-on-one-guitar cover of Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know”.  (If  you haven’t seen these, you need to! The cover has almost 85 million views on YouTube while the original has almost 144 million!! …I think that speaks for itself.)

The first video is their cover of Malvina Reynold’s song “Little Boxes”. It has a set made entirely of cardboard! The second one is one of their original songs called “Money Tree” and it’s made with the magic of stop-motion! See? They’re awesome, right? Enjoy!


Happy Birthday To Me!

Birthday Cake

Mmmmm... Cake (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

That’s right, dear readers, today is my birthday. I am now 25 years old. That’s one-quarter of a century, halfway to 50. I’m not sure if it should or not, but it doesn’t feel any different from any other birthday.

I find it funny how when you’re a kid, each birthday is extremely significant and a source of pride, as if suddenly going from 7 to 8 years old is a great accomplishment. Kids are very aware of their age and the ages of the other kids around them, because when you’re that age, that’s usually how the social hierarchy is decided. The older kids are the ones in charge and they get to do things that the younger ones can’t.

When you’re an adult, all of that changes. Your age begins to have less and less to do with your social or professional status. A 50-year-old person can just as easily be the subordinate to one of 30 years of age as not.

Also, the addition of one year or two of age begins to have less and less impact on our appearance. It’s easy to tell the difference between a 5-year-old and a 7-year-old, but can you tell the difference between someone who is 45 and 47? Maybe you can, but I sure can’t.

So, just to reiterate, 25 doesn’t feel any different from 24…. However, cake and presents are always good so I’m going to enjoy this day all the same!

I’m going to leave you now with the number one songs of 25 years ago on the date of April 4th, 1987. Why, you ask? Because it’s fun, that’s why ;)

In the US, it was Starship’s “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now”, which you may remember from the classic 80’s movie, Mannequin.

And in the UK, the number one song at the time was a cover of “Let It Be”, performed by Ferry Aid, a British-American ensemble group brought together in the aftermath of the Zeebrugge Disaster.

You just gotta love that 80’s hair!


A Banana By Any Other Name Would Be Just As Funny

(Image Source: KnowYourMeme.com)

I discovered something very tragic today indeed, dear readers. Yesterday was National PB & J Day in the United States and I missed it! In the words of Charlie Brown:

(Photo Source: Photobucket.com)

I know what you’re all thinking…. But Chris! You’re not even American! True enough, dear readers, true enough. But even so, were I aware of the existence of this amazing holiday yesterday, I would have had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich anyhow in honour of it. They’re so delicious after all…

What? That isn’t what you were all thinking? Oh I see, what you were really thinking was Why the hell are you talking about peanut butter sandwiches when your title clearly states this post should be about bananas?! There’s even a dancing banana at the top!!

Patience, dear readers, patience; I’m getting to that. Now where was I again? Oh yes, Peanut Butter and Jelly Day. It turns out that every day is some kind of holiday in the US (how cool is that?). Here is a full list of said holidays. April 2nd is as I’ve said, PB & J day.

Today, April 3rd, is Tweed Day and Don’t Go to Work Unless It’s Fun Day (awesome and awesome). Those go together perfectly! Tweed is always fun, which means if you celebrate Tweed Day, you’re definitely going to have fun at work. But I suppose if you’d rather stay home, you’d have to forgo the tweed, which would be a shame. Can’t have everything I guess…

Now tomorrow, April 4th, is Tell-A-Lie Day. Here’s a good one to use: “This sentence is a lie.”  But Chris, if that sentence is a lie, then it’s telling the truth, hence it can’t be a lie, but it can’t be the truth because it says it’s a lie…. Don’t hurt yourselves thinking about it, dear readers, just inflict it on your friends, co-workers, maybe even your boss… Perhaps the latter will become trapped in an infinite loop, thus preparing you for April 5th, Go For Broke Day, where you may now be able to persuade your boss’s weakened mind into giving you that raise or extra vacation time you’ve been too afraid to ask for.

The list goes on. April 13th, Blame Somebody Else Day, sounds like a particularly fun one… or horrible one, depending which side of the blaming you’re on.

Now, here’s what you’ve all been waiting for dear readers…. What is the relevance of bananas in my post?  The suspense must be killing you.

Here it is, as a tribute to National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day:

*crickets chirp* 

*tumbleweeds blow past* 

Come now, dear readers, it may be a little passé but I believe it still has comedic merit.

*silence*

*more silence*

Are you still there?

*Silence*


*Note: For those who are unfamiliar with this dancing banana, it was a very popular meme a few years ago that went viral. If you want to know  more, then I’ll direct your attention to this:


Take It All In

I’m going to start off by saying that I’m going to do this entry a little different from my weird, wacky usual. Talking about broccoli as evidence that pigs can fly and dying anthropomorphic birds is fun and all (it really is!), but sometimes I like to tone it down a bit to try to fool people into thinking that I’m at least somewhat normal. So let’s begin, shall we?

***

Today was a really nice day. That seems like a somewhat strange topic for a blog entry, doesn’t it? I mean, nothing particularly exciting happened; I didn’t come across anything out of the ordinary, or even meet anyone new. It was simply a really nice day.

It was sunny and warm, and I managed to take a nice long walk along the waterfront. There aren’t many days when I actually stop and take in everything around me. Even though I’ve only been in the city of Kelowna for about 6 months, I’ve already started taking all the amazing scenery for granted. How is that even possible? There are mountains, forests and a giant beautiful lake basically right outside my front door!  And when I say “giant”, I mean it. Okanagan Lake has a surface area of 351 km² (135.5 mi²) so it’s kind of hard to miss.

I snapped a few pictures with my phone to share; the quality isn’t great and I’m no photographer, but you can still see that it’s a sight to behold.

I even stopped to take a closer look at things that I normally would have just walked past.

Loch Ness has the legend of Nessie. Okanagan Lake has the legend of Ogopogo.

Most days, I would never have stopped to read this, but I'm glad I did. It's really quite beautiful and profound.

Even the ducks were out in full force today.

People in general tend to overlook the things that surround them once they’ve become accustomed to them. It’s just human nature; when there’s change, we adapt, and anything that was previously amazing to us simply becomes mundane.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. One can open one’s eyes and learn to appreciate everything once again; all you need is the desire to do so.

That’s why I’m so grateful that I decided to start writing and join the blogging community. In an effort to discover things to blog about, I have managed to open my eyes once again and really look at the world around me; and with the amount of talented bloggers out there, especially those who have an eye for photography (I particularly liked Frivolous Monsters‘ pics of Manchester), it’s hard not to.

Posting pictures like this most likely won’t become the norm for me. Like I said earlier, I’m no photographer and my camera just doesn’t do the scenery justice anyway. But I really did have a great time today doing this, so who knows what the future will bring?

In the end, I’m just thankful that everyone has been so supportive and encouraging. I really didn’t expect this blog of mine to go anywhere, yet today I managed to surpass 500 all-time views (which I know doesn’t seem like a lot to many of you; a lot of people get that or more on a daily basis, but to me it’s a tremendous accomplishment). And now, I get to look out of my apartment window and realize that I’ve got it pretty good:

Can you believe that I stopped noticing this view?


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