Tag Archives: tired

You’re Such a Hypnic Jerk!

I had a five second dream the other night. It consisted of me walking and then slipping on the curb of a sidewalk, followed by that gut-wrenching, heart-stopping feeling that you are about to fall. Of course, seeing as I was in bed, I wasn’t actually falling, but my body wasn’t going to have any of that, of course, and it decided to jerk all crazily in an attempt to keep itself upright, which doesn’t make sense because I wasn’t upright to begin with. In any case, I was violently awoken by all the fuss and was left with my heart pounding away in my chest as if I had just narrowly cheated death somehow. I hate it when this happens.

Perhaps you have experienced this occurrence yourselves? Roughly 70 percent of people do after all. This occurrence has a name you know, and that name is hypnagogic myoclonic twitch. But that’s a bit of a mouthful, so people usually just refer to it as a “hypnic jerk”.  Not to be confused with a “hippie jerk”, which is an entirely different issue.

I love that its name sounds like an insult. I can shake my fist in outrage at it yelling “You damn hypnic jerk!” and it feels like I’ve managed to put it in its place. It’s very satisfying.

Now you may be wondering why these damn hypnic jerks even occur in the first place. Well, apparently the experts are still not completely sure why the body does this, but they believe it to be a natural part of the sleeping process. They believe that as the muscles begin to relax and go slack right as you are falling asleep, the brain can misinterpret this and think you’re falling down. Then it basically freaks out. In an attempt to save you from falling, the brain sends signals to the muscles in your arms and legs and gives them a big ol’ twitch, thus awakening you from your sound slumber.

Now I’d like to know why the brain is misinterpreting these signals in the first place. Is it just too lazy to put forth the effort? Is it just a weird short-circuit that takes place? Or is it something more sinister? Maybe the brain is the real jerk here and it just enjoys kicking us awake just as we’re about to nod off. Yeah, that’s probably it. You heard it here first, folks. Our brains are little sadists. What’s even worse is that apparently hypnic jerks occur more frequently in people who are uncomfortable and having trouble sleeping, or in those who are already sleep deprived to begin with. See? Only a sadistic jerk would trick an insomniac into waking up, just as he or she was falling asleep.

Well then, it looks like the so-called “experts” have been fooled in the end. Our brains aren’t making us spasm to “save us from falling”. They’re just assholes.

The brain

Oh and lookie here! Another brain that's a jerk. Coincidence? I think not.

 

 

Advertisements

Crazy Fatigue Energy

Have you ever been so tired, that you are NOT able to sleep, no matter how hard you try? You know, where you lie in bed for hours, completely exhausted, and your mind keeps chattering away about miscellaneous, annoying things and sleep just stays an elusive bastard, taunting you just beyond your reach? I’ve got that going on right now. So, in an effort to use up any residual mental energy I have left in an attempt to force my mind into submission so I can sleep, I’m going to blog about it. I apologize in advance if my attempt to write a comprehensible post degenerates into rambling about nonsense, but as it is currently 3:07 AM here, I really find it hard to give a damn whether any of this makes sense. Okay?

So, I haven’t been sleeping well at all lately and it’s slowly been catching up with me, bit by bit, to the point where it’s starting to mess with my mind. When you’re this tired, one moment you feel like you’re about to lapse into a coma at any second and the next, you’re feeling wide awake and full of what I like to call Crazy Fatigue Energy, or CFE for short, that acts like a second wind when you’ve passed the threshold of being merely tired, into being majorly sleep deprived.

I have experienced CFE many times before in the past while I was in college, pulling all-nighters finishing projects that should have been done days before (on more than one occasion, I literally started a project the day before it was due). I remember the fatigue suddenly melting away and my mind going into overdrive… At least that’s what it felt like anyway; for all I know I could have been staring blankly at my computer screen for minutes on end without doing anything and not even realizing it. You see, CFE often has the side effect of playing with your sense of time as well as causing the no-blinking effect. It’s easy to recognize someone experiencing CFE by the disturbing juxtaposition of the dark circles of fatigue under their eyes with the intense, uninterrupted gaze that has just the tiniest glint of crazy to

The disturbing gaze of one affected by Crazy Fatigue Energy

it. It can be very unsettling to the observer, but somewhat exhilarating for the one experiencing it. You kind of get that “anything can happen” feeling.

I remember one time, I had been working all night on a college project that was, of course, due the next day.

I suddenly realized I needed to go to the college to get something to finish the project; luckily I lived nearby. I can’t remember what this thing I needed was, exactly, only that it was imperative that I get it. So, at around 5 or 6 AM, I decided to brave the -40 degree weather (I’m not even joking about that; I lived in Winnipeg, MB (Canada) at the time and it really was that cold) and walked over to the college to get it. It felt like this wild, exciting adventure, when for most people, it should have felt like some freezing, stressful nightmare – because that’s what CFE does to you.

Of course, as great as the feeling is, it doesn’t last forever. When the fatigue comes back, it hits you like… I don’t know, something that hits hard, let’s say a rock or… Chris Brown (that joke is pretty tired now, but so am I so screw it).

Anyway, I think that should be enough now. I’m feeling sleepy and should hopefully be able to catch some shut-eye. And as a gift to you all for putting up with my ramblings, I’m going to post this right now, against my better judgement, instead of waiting till tomorrow to read it over to check if it’s embarrassingly bad or not!

Goodnight!


%d bloggers like this: